H/Freud/class summary

This post was long overdue, (I think) anyway, H was a fantastic book that gave me insight on just how misunderstood children can really be. I was kind of upset that Ben was robbed of innocence and more or less crushed down to normal at the end of the book, but at what cost? who would he grow up to be? and how long would that last? I think its awful the way his family treated him and especially the way dyson drugged him up. I wouldnt change the ending of the novel though because it wouldnt send the same message. I think if more parents read books like H, kids would be able to grow and flourish the way they should. Anyway, Freud played a major part in the way I read this book, and im glad i learned a lot about psychoanalysis and the way the human mind works. I feel as though I cant read a book now without reading from freud first, it gives a great perspective and new way to understand and think about the characters and their situations. I really enjoyed taking this class because it really made me think and see things from a subjective point of you which is something you dont really get to take advangtage of in todays world since so many people are caught up with their own opinions that they never stop to see things from a different perspective. I look forward to reading more on freud and trying to interpret and analyze books for my self.....It would be sick for book clubs and stuff!

Fun Home

Fun Home was probably one of the most incredible books i've read in a while. Although I enjoyed reading H as well,  the ending to Fun home was not what i expected it to be. When reading about alisons fathers death at one point and then having her reach out to him at the end, the organization threw me off. I was disturbed at the fact that even though she may not have had the best relatinship with her father, her mother and her siblings showed no remorse and even laughed at the thought of his death. When I finally reached the end i think it all made sense. Although her father may not have been perfect and maybe even a little disturbing at times, the author concluded the story with making me feel and understand him for who he was, especially since he reflected off of alison herself. And i finally realized that allison was happy her father was gone. Not because he was a bad person, (although again not perfect either) but because he was finally free of the chains of society that had held him down his entire life. Overall i thought this was a great read, i'm not even selling the book back, at least not yet, i gave it to my sister to read to see what she thinks.

H

H is a celebratory story. In the beginning readers are drawn into the world, of what appears to be a mentally challenged 12 yr old based on our biases, which are supplemented by the letters of the authority fiqures in the novel- Ben and Peggy Sherman, Dr, Dysan and his camp counselors.
Such influences cause the audience to at first sympathize with Benjamin who seemed to spend most of his time preoccupied in the Fantasy world of Eliot and Elliottown.
We are however, able to identify with him, because while growing up, most of us had an "imaginary' childhood friend (s), or would escape to a world of fantasies when we couldn't cope with life as it is.
We see how Ben manipulates the "system" at his own disposal, which ultimately revealed that he was just being a 12 yr old boy, seeing and accepting his world in his own time

Fun Home

Fun Home is an exciting yet revealing peak into the private world of relationships. However, we are able to identify with Bechdel in one way or another, on the subject of repression, finding out out who we are as individuals, and following such a path. We all can identify with the dysfunctional family that Bechdel writes about at some point in the novel. We are able to adapt to and identify with the family conflicts/ struggles that Bechdel highlights.
It is also amazing how she captures and recaptures the family , its' structure and struggles

The Freudian concept of the "double" is also present throughout and we are given a front row seat as we see the conflict unfolds and reaches a resolution

Final

Regarding this paper, I also agree with Nadia, I feel like I have so many ideas but don't know how to formulate them, and I hope it somehow makes sense when you read it.

Fun Home

This book was one of my favorites that we read this semester. It really shows the struggling that children have with their parents and how parents really make a difference sometimes in how well they parent their children. Kids everyday go through what Alison goes through, just no one speaks about it. The last chapter really tied everything together and I think gave Alison a sense of peace with everything.

Final Paper

I really had trouble with this paper because I couldn't find the words to put everything together. I don't even know if it makes sense.

Final Chapter Of Fun Home

I enjoyed the final chapter very much, I feel like it sort of tied the whole book together.
It was a bitter sweet ending. In a sense it feels like Alison did make sense of her relationship with her father and of the man he was, also understanding the difficulties of his situation. But at the same time it's sad that she had to I guess "kill her father" after he was already dead. But in the end you can see he was always there to support her and the picture really made it even more significant and sweet, it was the perfect ending in my opinion!

Fun Home

I thoroughly enjoyed reading Fun Home. First and foremost, I love that it's a graphic memoir and the recursive method that she told/displayed her story only made it easier to follow the story as if recounting a memory of my own. I'm still deciding on what to write the paper on with a few ideas/questions that I have:
In terms of the Family Romance, I'm constantly having to refer back to the piece because I'm not sure I can use it as a reference for Fun Home in terms of the "motive of revenge or retaliation" that a child holds towards his/her parents when growing up/understanding the dynamics between family members. I find that Bruce shows more of those child symptoms towards his family members because he has to hide the real him due to his own/others homophobia. I'm just not sure how to depict that role-reversal between Fun Home and Family Romance.
However, the ONE thing I thought I want to use is on page 40 of Family Romance is:

"Indeed, the whole effort to replace the real father by another who is more distinguished is merely an expression of the child's longing for the happy time gone by, when his father seemed to him the strongest and most distinguished men, and his mother the dearest and loveliest of women. He turns away from the man he now knows as his father to the one he believed in as a child."

I strictly like this quote because I can see how Alison wanted to tell her story to symbolicly "kill her dead father" and move on because despite being a not so warm or gentle father, she was accustomed to that version of her father (strict, intelligent, and experienced man) as opposed to the "big sissy" who had a lifelong and far reaching secret (gay, shady, suicidal).

A second brick wall I'm hitting is how to talk about the relationship between graphic novel and memoir (text and image). I'm not sure how to explain it but I do agree/see how images when rightfully organized can enhance the telling of a story. I feel like the author would need the perfect still shot scene/portrait to have it work hand-in-hand with the story.

Lastly, I have one question about Fun Home. On page 82, the scene where Alison and her girlfriend, Joan, return to her home over the summer to visit Helen Bechdel after Bruce's passing. Helen was getting rid of books from Bruce's library and offered Joan to take a book and not "just pick a paperback. Take something good." Joan picked up one by Wallace Stevens which Joan had said was a great pick and proceeded to quote a line from it; Alison narrates that the quote was about crucifixion. Joan decides to decline the book after Helen was done.
Anyway, I just want to know if Joan declined because as Alison pointed out what the quote was about, that Helen had sort of insulted her with the quote because she was aiming it towards the fact that Joan is a lesbian and it's her way of disapproving it. Or did Joan decline because Helen seemed to really like the book and Joan thought it'd be better if she kept it?

H

Just wanted to copy my notes onto the blog:

H was an exceptional read and out of all the "uncanny"-like readings we have taken on, I think it's the most relatable to some and evokes empathy from the rest. The reason why I say this is because H, despite being from many points of view, feels as if we, the reader, are browsing through someone's diary. It's all personal perspectives and to let outsiders in on this inner circle would be embarrassing. This feeling of private property is taken from many perspectives like Benjamin's mother, father, sister, doctor, friends, counselors, etc.
For Benjamin (and Elliot)-- the letters are only for Elliot(s) to see. The bit that Benjamin allows for others to see is often turned away and made fun of which only makes it harder for those who are genuinely interested in Benjamin and his fantasy world to be let in. Benjamin has it in his head that no one is going to bother dealing with him or try to understand who Elliot and what Elliottown is; this becomes a permanent rule of sorts in his world-- to not let anyone in. Precisely why Dr. Dysan hits a standstill each time he tries to work with Benjamin. Benjamin does too in a way, the reader sees a conflict arise between Benjamin and Elliot over letting others in. This (internal) conflict is seen mostly when Benjamin becomes close with Amelia. But anyway, I thought the book was great and an amazing example of what mental illness is. Many need to see it from another's perspective in order to help them and this book allows the an outsider to see the struggle of a 12 year old boy.

The last of Fun Home

First off, i just want to say i cant believe we have come to the final book and its ending! Overall, i liked Fun Home more than i thought i would. While reading Fun Home, i didnt really see the ending coming the way that it did in class yesterday. "But in the tricky reverse narration that impels our entwined stories, he was there to catch me when I leapt." As far as this quote goes, if i were to interpret it before reading the story, i wouldnt truly understand the message that Allison was trying to tell us in the end. I thought the ending was inspiring in many ways because there are many families and people in situations like this that are trapped and cant seem to let go and live to be who they really are. I feel that the ending to this story can impact many peoples lives that many be going through the same situation. Allison was able to tell us that in the end, it was a safe leap for here and she was able to save herself, unlike her dad. The story was quite different from the others we had read but i enjoyed it alot. I have a bunch of ideas in mind to write the paper and finalize my last thoughts.

Final Chapter of Fun Home

First off, I thought you knew who I was all this time Prof. Esteves!!!. It's JULES!. I thought the alias Mr. Jewelz was similar enough to my name.

But in regards to the final chapter, I noticed how it puts the whole book together. Think about Fun Home missing that last chapter, and the book is incomplete. The short-lived conversation Alison had with Bruce concerning the book he gave her to read and their similarity in having relations with the same sex was an important event that had to take place in order for Alison to be fully confident in who she is. She now didn't have to wonder and second guess if it was something she really wanted people to know. In my opinion, if she'd never known for sure about her father's sexual orientation, I don't she would have been able to succeed in being the Alison she is today.

Final Chapter of Fun Home

"But in the tricky reverse narration that impels our entwined stories, he was there to catch me when I leapt." I thought this quote was a nice way to end the story. Allison is constantly trying to come to terms with her father throughout the story, and although she realizes she can't pinpoint a specific way to view him, she does realize that in the end he was her support system.. minus his very apparent defects.
Also I find it interesting that Allison and Bruce represent the opposite of Daedalus and Icarus' story. Allison represents what Icarus could have done if he hadn't flew to close to the sun, and Bruce then becomes the risky individual who flew to close to the sun and suffered the consequence. I think this is an interesting view especially because i was trying so hard to see where they fit this story while reading the novel, and now it just makes much more sense.

Relating to Fun Home

I don't know why but after our class discussion on Monday, I started to realize I could relate to Allison Bechdel and Fun Home and her relationship with her father. Actually a lot more than I realized when I was actually reading the book. So I am glad that we can bring our own personal experiences in our papers because I feel like this can help.

I thought I would just write a little of my own story on here to see if you agree that I can talk a bout the similiar situation I have had with my father.

Like Allison my father was/is very strict and almost like a stranger. But one way we do connect is our fasicnation with music, we both sing and play the piano. Anything besides music we do not connect on nor do I even feel like I know him, a lot of my memories with him are negative ones. I don't know if we have ever had a direct conversation.
So I was thinking I could tie this in with my paper, and of course with a little more detail.

Another aspect of Bruce that I think is important in deciding how to feel about him is the fact that he is manic-depressive. Now Alison only mentions this in passing a few times but I think it definitely plays a role. I feel like the gay aspect is showcased in her novel because it is a big part of her and how she identifies with him. Although forced to be in the closet creates a certain anger and "meanness" in Bruce, some symptoms for bi-polar involves extreme risky behavior often times having to do with sex. This helps me work out the issues with Bruce and his affairs with the younger boys. Maybe a bias opinion cause I've dealt with that similar kind of secret coming out later in life with my mom being bi-polar. I was totally relating to the book even before you mentioned to add our own story into the paper. Now, my house is no Bechdel house, however the facade my mother creates is similar. For instance, she has, off the top of my head, 10 different collections in my kitchen alone. And the artwork and excessive purchasing of paintings when there is barely wall space left to put it is just funny and ridiculous. Like Alison, I grew up with that somewhat distaste, if you will, for my mother only to find we are quite similar. I'm not going to go into too much detail now but maybe you can help me figure out how to put this together for the paper.

Professor Estevez can you give me another explanation of Family Romance?

paper

I don't really understand the Oedipus complex..can you give me another explanation? Wouldn't it be kind of the opposite for Alison since she's a lesbian? i don't know I'm confused a little..

final paper

I know that we got the handout for what you want in the final paper, but i feel like I'm lost on what to write and I'm sort of getting nervous. I'm having the most trouble with linking the other texts back to Fun Home and Freud. Any ideas?

Fun home

Fun home was the most interesting novel we've read this semester just because it was something different. The pictures associated with the words made it a better story to understand and it felt like you lived it because you see every scene in the book and it makes you create some scenes of your own.

For the 3rd paper when we discuss Fun Home as a family romance we could give examples from the memoir right? and I don't understand what you mean when you say "But how do you kill a father that is already dead?"

The Disrupter of Identity

It is clear as we read through Shepard’s novel, H, that Benjamin has constructed an incredibly intricate reality for himself through the H doll, which acts as an uncanny object both for Benjamin, and for the major authority figures in the story. An uncanny object is something upon which one projects the figments of their unconscious. When observing Benjamin's relationship with Elliot it is not the projection of his unconscious we are looking for directly, but rather at the projection of his imagination through which we see the inner workings of his mind and that his fantasy has arisen out of necessity. Elliot exists only as a substitute to fulfill necessary functions which, as we can extract from the manifest content of the text, are neglected in the absence of his father.

In Freud’s essay The Uncanny, he says, “The double was originally an insurance against the extinction of the self...these ideas arose on the soil of boundless self love, the primordial narcissism which dominates the mental life of both the child and the primitive man...(142).” Benjamin and Elliot essentially share one ambiguous identity; though they are separate objects with distinct and separate features, Elliot is simply the personality that Benjamin has constructed and superimposed onto the H doll. The uncanny object acts as a double, because its features are only those which have been projected upon it from the subject. Elliot is a defense mechanism that Benjamin has created to protect himself from the absence of his his father

Jeffery Sherman is a character who, just like the Master in The Turn of the Screw, is characterized and strengthened by his absence. There are only two letters from Mr. Sherman throughout the entire novel, and neither are to Benjamin. It is clear how he regards Benjamin in his letter to the Reston’s prior to the start of camp.

Benjamin is a quiet boy and likes to be left alone. He seems content to keep himself busy, just as he is content remaining idle... Benjamin is happiest when left alone. We do not press him to speak a great deal, since he has nothing to say, and we hope you will do the same (Shepard 7).

Benjamin is surrounded by emptiness. He has been left in a world of solitude and his fantasy has ultimately been constructed to fill in the void left by his parents. Elliot guides him, protects him, provides insight and even at times chastisement, and is always there to listen to Benjamin. Elliot fulfills all the roles which his father blatantly neglects. And, of course, Elliot is completely invulnerable: her life is not confined to her physical body. Her soul exists immortally in Elliotown. Clearly primitive narcissism is being displayed here. Benjamin, likewise, does not relate to or take part in anything that his father values, but has invested his entire identity in Elliotown. At times he even renounces his humanity to be ‘an elliot’. This is the ultimate defense against annihilation of the self; if one is not a part of this world, not even human, then how would one’s identity possibly be threatened by anything human? In fact this is why he so adamantly shuns the human world around him. For instance, softball and swimming. These activities are being constantly imposed upon him by authority figures, and in fact represent mechanisms to annihilate the identity he has created. All authority figures in the story are trying “cure him” of his fantasy: to separate Elliot from Benjamin.

Just like in Freud’s interpretation of Hoffman’s “The Sandman”, where the father appears “as a disrupter of love...at whose hand’s castration is expected (140),” the authority figures in Shepard’s novel act as shadows of the supreme authority figure, the father, who fundamentally is a destroyer of identity. It is not the theft of the eyes that signifies the loss of the genitals, but the separation from Elliot. Castration Anxiety is the fear of the father robbing ones genitalia. In this case Benjamin’s genitals and his identity are represented by the same thing: Elliot. Several times throughout the story we can clearly see Benjamin demonstrating castration anxiety.

When you do mean things you can't tell Dave or Chris or the directors because you deserve to be gotten back... And if you lie and Dave catches you he will get really mad and it is scary to see Dave really mad...they might go through your stuff and take my letters away and hide them (Shepard 81).

Dr. Dyson asked to see my notebook and I said no. Good thing i had a feeling he would...I hate it when he looks so mad at me (Shepard 105).

It is obvious from the way Benjamin treats both Dave (though in a generally more positive light), and Dr. Dyson, that he views them as substitute fathers onto whom he sublimates his fear of castration from his own father. He projects his fear of the father figure coming and specifically taking away his letters to Elliot. The letters symbolize his genitalia as they are the way he remains connected with Elliot, the source of his identity. To speak in the words of Freud, I would not advise any opponent of the psychoanalytic view to appeal to Shepard’s story is in support of the contention that fear for the removal of Elliot something independent of the castration complex. For why is fear of Elliots removal so closely connected with the father figure? Why does the father always appear as the disrupter of identity? However, in the end, similarly to Nathaniel in ‘The Sandman,‘ Benjamin is not incorrect about what the father figure aims to do.

Of course this assumption rests on the idea that Benjamin’s genitals are indeed represented as his double Elliot. Further evidence connecting Elliot as a phallic symbol for Benjamin is evident in Part 3.

They (Elliots) are producing baby Elliots faster...they touch the rims of diagonal toefingers and armlegs to make themselves THREE DIMENSIONAL!...turning themselves into double O’s, cyllanders, figure eights ...flapping and trying to fly away. Their babies are DEFORMED (Shepard 102).

In Benjamin’s drugged state we must regard this delusional episode of fantasy in the same way we would approach a dream.

The invention of doubling has a counterpart in the language of dreams, which is fond of the idea of expressing the idea of castration by duplicating or multiplying the genital symbol...the primordial narcissism which dominates the mental life of both the child and the primitive man , and when this phase is surmounted, the meaning of ‘double’ changes: having once been an assurance of immortality, it becomes the uncanny harbinger of doom. (Freud 142).

Elliot’s representation as Benjamin’s genitalia and the source of his identity is undeniable. The only connection remaining is to establish the father as the destroyer of identity. He is is an annihilator of the self; a destroyer of any connections to identity that his children construct. Benjamin is not the source of the problem, his outbursts are simply symptoms of a larger problem directly linked to the neglect of the father. This is shown as even Hannah is subjected to the effects of the father’s absence; she too has created an uncanny object. She has taken the identity of John Lennon and superimposed it over herself. Just as Benjamin rejects his humanity, so Lemon rejects her roots; she has taken the identity provided for her by her parents through her name, and changed it to her suiting. And invariably the father comes as the disrupter of identity. “She (Hannah) wrote the name Lemon on her door, and Daddy and I punished her for writing on the walls (Shepard 43).” Perhaps a minor occurrence, but certainly symbolic of his attitude toward the identity of his children. And it only gets more severe. Later, when the father projects his fears onto one of Hannah’s toys he ends up literally destroying it. “Home Sucks. Daddy broke my Hair Do Jesse doll and I hate him (Shepard 104).” He cannot allow anything that threatens the identities he has chosen to impose upon his children exist.

The authority figures ultimately identify the H doll as the destroyer of normalcy, which is the father’s goal for Benjamin’s identity. His intent is to separate Elliot from Benjamin in order to restore normalcy and thus save his identity, however, by doing so he is ironically destroying the very identity he has forced Benjamin to undertake. By the end of the novel the father figure, looming sinisterly in the background, eventually succeeds in the castrating of Elliot from Benjamin. Their identities are successfully disrupted. However, as we can extract from the information provided, this will surely not fix the larger problematic which stems from the absence of the father. The fantasy, which arose only out of necessity, has now been annihilated, and with it the source of Benjamin’s identity, the true problem, however, continues undeterred. Benjamin will no doubt be cast into the same environment except this time their will be nothing, either imaginary or real, to fill in the annihilating absence left by the father, except his dwindling bottle of medication and a lifeless letter H.

Freud, Sigmund. The Uncanny, (2003). New York, Penguin Publishing,. Shepard,

Elizabeth. H , (1995). New York, Penguin Publishing

Re. Class

The topic that we brought up about wishful thinking when younger was interesting. I liked the answer someone gave about wishing to be Peter Pan because it was something i thought about as well. The thought of living in a parent free society, where you never get older, was the dream. It was just an idea to get back at my parents.

In regards to Oedipus, I read about how fate vs free will was a reoccuring theme. As much as I want this to be a part of my final paper, I can't find any instances in Fun Home that will accompany this theme.

The Freudian explaination of Deja Vu and latent dreams made me go back into Fun Home to find specific events corresponding with his theories.

It's interesting how almost everthing I've read excluding books assigned this semester, in some way, shape, or form have ties to Freudian concepts!

Just blogging some random thoughts.

All About H

From beginning to end I loved the book.

Part 1- I hated that the parents tried to force activities on him that he didn't want to participate in, and that Dr. Dysan was a terrible psychiatrist, and doctor. It's a shame his father did not play a huge role in comforting him or making him feel like a good son. His thoughts of Benjamin alone were enough to show the reader that he didn't think highly of his son, and didn't love him as a father should. Although Benjamin didn't write his parents, or Lemon, I did have appreciation for them to keep on writing him, to make him feel loved. Well, at least his mother.

Part 2- His letters back and forth with Elliot were amusing. I found it strange that Elliot was a girl. I liked his relationship between Amelia, it showed that he did have feelings and attachment to things other than his imaginary world. Even though his camp counselor didn't have great things to say about Benjamin to his friend, their relationship to Benjamin was meaningful and that's what matters in child development. I remember being in camp and having, what i hope now to be as a good relationship, with my counselors and it made me want to come back to camp. The dates were pretty weird too, but Elliotown time was different from Earth time, so I couldnt expect it to be month day and year format all the time.

Part 3- It tore me apart to know that he was institutionalized. In my opinion, he was a normal boy, who had some growing up issues, due to his terrible parents. His mom, who babies and pities him, and his father who belittles him. Yes, his bathroom problem was a little too much for 12 years old, but having an imaginary friend and town was his way of being himself and creative. In the end, Benjamin actually becomes crazy, and instead of making any type of sense, he blabbers in his last letter. I think he could have been saved even up to the point where Dr. Dysan says it's ill advised to bring Benjamin home. That pissed me off, because as the reader knowing Benjamin's thoughts, he didnt deserve to be there in the first place.

GREAT BOOK, don't ever take it off the syllabus for future classes.